My wife and I are entering a season of life that has had me thinking
about preparing my children for different aspects of their lives. I have been
trying to make sure I have taught my daughter all she needs so she will be
ready when she leaves for college next year. My son recently turned 15 and I
have been teaching him how to drive.
There are many things we are trying to cram into our
daughter, since this is the last year she will be living in our house. From
talking with my friends, I am not alone in just now discovering some of the
things we should have been doing for years. One simple example is getting up in
the morning. We have slipped into the bad habit of letting her sometimes fail
to extract herself from her bed when her alarm goes off. We then go in 5 or 10
minutes later to get her out of bed. In college, we will not be calling her in
the morning to get out of bed. If she keeps this up, she will simply be late
for class or miss it altogether. To prepare her, we are letting her know that
we will no longer be her snooze alarm. If she fails to get up, she will be
late. I know it will happen, and the first time will be quite painful, for her
and for us, but it is the only way she will learn to rely on herself instead of
on us.
There is a problem with that plan. She currently drives her
brother to school. So, do we let her sleep in and cause her brother to be late
as well? That is not fair to him. We are currently trying to work out the
balance of teaching her versus having her actions affect her brother
negatively.
It reminds me of the Biblical principal that you reap what
you sow. Even though waking up is not a crucial spiritual matter, the principal
still applies. If we let her continue to sow not getting herself out of bed,
she will reap being late to classes in college. Not a major thing, but
something to be avoided.
Teaching my son to drive falls into a different category. It
is not only about teaching him rules and a new skill. There are serious safety
factors to consider. Bad choices in driving can have far more devastating
impacts than being late to school. It was hard to literally let go of the wheel
and let him sit in the driver’s seat, and there have been a couple of times
when I had to reach over to grab the wheel and point him in a safer direction.
However, he will never learn to drive if I keep my hand on the wheel at all
times.
Reflecting back on how I am teaching my kids these things, I
cannot help but think about how God teaches us. He often allows us try new
things knowing full well we have to learn as we go. He lets us sit in the
driver’s seat with Him watching our progress. He knows we will make mistakes. Sometimes
those mistakes are only inconveniences. Sometimes they are very painful. Sometimes
those mistakes affect people who had no part in making the mistake.
God has to allow us to make those mistakes so we can learn
from them and to allow our freewill to function. If God stepped in every time
we were about to make a mistake, He would have to control almost every aspect
and every decision of our lives. He did not design things that way. He allows
us to make our own choices and to enjoy or suffer the consequences of those
choices.
I know He sometimes reaches over to grab the wheel and move
us out of the path of an oncoming disaster. But He cannot do that too often or
we would not have freewill nor would we learn from the choices we make.
